earworms

Have you ever had an earworm? Okay, that's a silly question because of course you have. Everyone has. You may not have known that's what you had when you had it, but there was no mistaking you had something and it drove you right round the bend.

Earworms are sneaky and contagious. They slither into your ear and stick in your head and then torment you for hours or days. Most times they start off pleasant enough, and we don't mind them being there. But after the first few minutes enough is enough and the more we want them to leave the more stubbornly they cling.

I'm not talking about a parasite here, that physically wriggles into your head (if you've had that experience, best to keep it to yourself). The earworm I mean is a song or tune - or sometimes a phrase or expression - that sticks in your head and haunts you all day and all night, over and over like a skipping record.

Advertisements are specially crafted to be earworms, I've heard. They're simple and catchy and easy to remember - unlike, say, Bach's Sonata No. 5 in F minor, which is beautiful but more difficult to pinpoint in terms of a catchy tune.

Songs from musicals, pop songs (especially from the '50s) and nursery rhymes, with their distinct rhythms and words ("round, round, get around, I get around," etc.) are also obvious worms.

When I was jogging, I used to - much to my great annoyance - get "Three-blind-mice. Three-blind-mice. See-how-they-run. See-how-they-run." and other lame-but-rhythmic nursery rhymes that I haven't thought of in years, playing out in my head to the rhythm of my footsteps.

Other ones, however, have been more random. I remember, my last year of university, I got the phrase "precious little point" stuck in my head for close to a month. I wasn't actually as discouraged as it sounds - it just had this catchy, poetic sound that stuck in my head.

Another one I remember was "Mike said it would be like this," a promotional phrase for the CHBC weatherman about 10 years ago. I'd wake up in the morning: "Mike said it would be like this." Get in the shower: "Mike said it would be like this." Pinch my finger in the door: "Mike said it would be like this." SHUT UP ALREADY MIKE!!!!

Last year, it was "Tetsuro Shigematsu," the name of a radio broadcaster who was (at the time) hosting the show Round-Up on CBC. Tetsuro Shigematsu: say it once to yourself. No, don't, or you'll be saying for weeks, every time you blink your eyes or swallow.

The good news is, I haven't had an earworm (also known as a sticky tune or a cognitive itch) in a while, thank you very much - at least not one that haunts me for days or weeks on end. But you never know what weird, catchy thing could get me started. If only there were a pesticide for this kind of pestilence!