ice ice baby

Every couple has their toothpaste issue. That would the dumb, trivial, minute - yet incredibly important and relationship defining - conflict over where to squeeze the tube, or whether or not it matters if the cap goes back on after you're done. Of course, it's not always toothpaste - that's just the stereotype. It could be whether the toilet paper rolls over or under, or whether or not the dog is allowed on the bed. Point is, there's always one; usually more.

Mine and Kyle's, we discovered just this week, is the size of ice. He likes the ice trays brimming with chunks so big, you could take the Titanic down with one. I, on the other hand, would rather fill my glass with several, smaller cube-ettes.

The difference was brought out of the freezer into the cold, harsh light of day last Sunday, when he was getting some drinks ready for friends. Taking out a tray of ice, he pronounced the cubes "much too small," dumping the contents brazenly into the sink as he did. My mouth dropped open as I watched him refill the tray so full of water that the ice would obviously freeze into one large sheet at the top.

Up to that point, during the year-and-a-half we've known each other, we've never really disagreed about anything. No, really. Maybe, you know, one likes strawberry better than chocolate, or one doesn't see how Costco could really be the coolest place for a date and challenges the other one on it, but never this polarization - this strong feeling of rightness at the other's expense. This, "no, really, we HAVE to do it my way." It's definitely a new level in the relationship - which is actually kind of cool when you think about it (and not just because we're talking about ice). Because no two people are ever going to be exactly the same, and now it's like we're really getting to know each other - and finding ways to cope with these kinds of differences.

Fortunately, I have two trays. They're now marked "His" and "Hers." Perhaps down the road we can buy some smaller trays, and then he can fill them as full as he wants and I'll still be happy because the cubes are small and that's all I really want. Whatever. The point is, we had our first little "what the hell?!" moment and that's important in a relationship, too. As long as you get through it, which, of course we did because - come on - it's only ice.

In a few months (five-and-a-half), I just know there will be more toothpaste issues - maybe even with the toothpaste itself (For the record, I squeeze from the middle but keep the contents pushed to the top, and the lid ALWAYS stays on except in use. And the toilet paper roll, if you're going by 5-star hotel standards, is always over, not under. Not that I'm starting anything here).

The point is, it's kind of like our relationship got a new dimension as a result. After all, people can't agree about every single thing every single time. And I don't want him to never have his own ideas about things - as convenient as it might be for me sometimes. That would just be boring. And that's a thought that really leaves me cold.