As I ponder the difference I'd like to make in my children's lives, I can't help but think about the influence my own mother has had on me. As with most mothers, no doubt, I could draft a long list of morals passed along, bon mots and words of wisdom that (while it may have taken a while) eventually sunk in.
One of my favourite bits of advice that my mum drilled through my head growing up, however, is this: Always watch how your boyfriend treats his mother, because that's how he'll treat you as a wife in a few years, if you marry.
Now that's not to say they need to be BFFs or anything - but how a son treats his mother (or, I suppose a daughter her mom or dad) in whatever kind of relationship they have is very telling. After all, this is (aside from you) the most important woman in his life. Does he lie to her about where he's going? Speak rudely to her? Brush her off? Does he make an effort to be in touch, either by phone or email (if long distance) or in person? Is he considerate toward her?
Once the romantic varnish has worn down, a spouse is basically just another family member. How someone treats their existing family members is very telling.
It's worked out for me, three years in, and judging by the respect and dedication my husband shows to his own mother (and family in general), I expect it will keep working in the years to come.
Anyway, whether or not you read this on Mother's Day, what's your favourite piece of advice you received from your mum, and how has it made a difference in your life? Something that will be worth passing down to your own offspring?
In the meantime, thanks for everything, Mum, and Happy Mother's Day!!!
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3 comments:
something my mother often repeated during my adolescence/early adult years, also related to choosing a mate: "I really don't feel he *BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN YOU*" It irritated me endlessly at the time, but now that I'm with someone who DOES....? I get it. I really do. There are people in the world who bring out the best in you, and people who can be all the fun in the world but they don't help you be great. Not at all.
Sounds like great advice from an adult perspective - but I can see how a teen would so not like hearing such observations. Glad you found someone in the end who DOES bring out the best in you!
1) If your hair isn't good, nothing else will be.
2) Never, don't ever, play doctor with anyone (this, after giving me a plastic doctor's kit for a present when I was about 5 years old, so that whenever any of my friends wanted to play doctor, I'd say, "No! We can only play nurse!"
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