blecht

I avoid the mall whenever I can. But every now and then, something comes over me, my defenses are let down and I am sucked back into the ridiculous world of chain store debasement.

Such was my experience today. I discovered last night that my favourite every-day coat was worn through the right elbow. Well, it will be nine years old next autumn, what can you expect? Fortunately, I'd seen lots in similar styles this winter. And now that winter is over (with the exception of the odd snowfall and bouts of -0 C), these coats should be going on sale. Or so I thought. So I did a quick swing through every roody store that looked like it might carry the kind of coat I was looking for, growing increasingly resentful of being there with each successive store.

I don't know why I hate malls. Maybe it's because they're full of teenagers and I tend to hate teenagers. Maybe it's because they're also full of slow moving retired people who have nothing better to do with their time now then to step out in front of people who are walking with a purpose, trying to minimize their time in the mall. Maybe it's the lights. Maybe it's the tiled floor. Maybe it's the fact that there's always something new you're "supposed" to have and I'm always trying to save for something else.

Whatever it is, it makes my hair feel flat and limp and my hands feel grimy and my skin feel droopy and my mouth feel sticky and my feet feel cramped and I just want to get away, get away, get away.

Don't even get me started about trying things on, in crampy little changing rooms with hideous lights and mirrors that stretch you out sideways.

So now, even though it was only an hour and a half, I feel cranky and drained and inclined to wear only my black turtleneck and cargo pants with my favourite everyday winter coat with a hole in the sleeve for the rest of my life if that's what it takes.

I'm a girl and I. Hate. Shopping.

Things I learned during today's misadventure:

1. They evacuate the building if the power goes out for more than 10 minutes, which it did, just as I arrived.

2. Kelly Osborne is the new face of Accesorize.

3. Brittany Spears may be pregnant again and Brangolina may be married (according to US).

4. The price of greeting cards is just ridiculous.

5. March 3 is definitely too late to be looking for stylish, discounted winter coats (my raison d'etre).